Shape Your Focus
The Power of The Primary Question
A few years ago after taking a personal development seminar I learned something so simple yet so profound.
Something that set the tone to how I experience life.
Our actions are shaped by our thoughts.
But what are our thoughts?
Who sets the narrative to those thoughts?
Are those thoughts working for or against us?
Is it just a crazy conversation within our own mind?
It was then that I realized that most of what goes on in our head is a back and forth conversation within ourselves, and the only way we can do this is by asking and answering our own questions.
During that seminar I learned that each of us usually have those few questions that just run our minds;
but most of the time, it’s just one primary question we keep asking ourselves over and over again.
And the answer to that question leads us to where we are now.
So what DO we ask ourselves?
That holds the power.
The power of what we focus on.
The power that sets our attitude towards life.
The power to be a victim,
or the opportunity to be empowered.
Think about it, the direction of any conversation usually comes from
the questions we ask and how we ask them.
So, if we want to lose weight, we don’t ask “why can’t I ever lose this weight?”
If you ask this, your brain is automatically looking for reasons you CAN'T do it.
Instead you ask yourself, “What can I do to lose this weight easily and permanently?”
Your brain will give you a complete set of empowering answers that you can then focus on.
Don’t ask, “Why don’t I have money?”
Ask, “What value can I give to produce more money?”
Don’t ask, “Why is my home always a mess?”
Ask, “What tiny action can I do right now to keep up with my home?”
I realized that my primary question has been,
“What should I do?”
It’s no wonder why I used to always be in a hurry. Never in the present. Never in the past. Just always in a hurry for the next thing.
Did I know what the next thing was? No.
No I didn’t.
It was just the next activity, the next lesson, the next thing.
It was no wonder why I always struggled to make decisions. Every decision I had to make gave me a crippling feeling because I would then run every possible outcome in my head over and over again.
I had a motor, but no direction on where to go.
My question was tripping me up.
I had to consciously decide what my new empowering question would be.
I went from, “What should I do?”
To “What’s the best thing I can do right now to be present and intentional?”
..At least now, there's an outcome.
With this I also have a clear set of goals that I want to accomplish
& a vision to enjoy the present moment instead of looking forward to the next thing.
Writing about this now makes me reconsider the question I have in place too.
What if I changed the question altogether?
What would my mind come up with then?
What if I want to live my life fully present, alive and enjoy every moment of it
While still aiming towards my goals and enjoying the process.
Maybe it can be, “What tiny moment am I super grateful for right now?”
Or ”How is this moment a blessing in my life?”
The possibilities are endless.
It may take some practice at first to get to the best question you can ask yourself.
But after some practice you can start tailoring it to focus on what you really want your life to be about.
When you’re aware of the power of your primary question,
you can change the thoughts in your head and the focus of your attention.
You can aim it towards what you do want to focus on
& how you do want to feel.
Change your question, change your answer.
Change your answer, change your focus.
Change your focus, change your life.
So what will you be asking yourself next? ;)
Xoxo,
Lucy